happy mandala
coaching model
Peace is the wish of those who have lost hope of being happy
"Peace and joy are not things you attain at the end of life. They are the basis of your life. If you consider peace to be the ultimate goal, you will only 'rest in peace'!"
​
Sadhguru, Inner Engineering
We have to rewrite this idea that the top of the spiritual path - and even of our life! - is to be at peace.
Peace is the basic condition for the spiritual path!
​
If we live in an epicenter of explosions, the fight for survival overrides everything. We have to look for refuge, food. There is no time to worry about Self-realisation when our very existence is threatened. Fortunately, not all of us know what war is. But all of us are at war all the time.
​
Today we have to protect ourselves from our own kind in the urban jungle. Today, threats to our physical integrity are even found in the lettuce we eat. And today we have perhaps a greater struggle: the threats to our emotional and psychological integrity are everywhere, when we least expect it and from whom we least expect it.
​
We live in a permanent cold war at home, at work, on the street. ​​We live haunted by what is and is not safe to eat, wear, wash and even breathe! It's exhausting. We have become chronically ill. Chronically fatigued. Chronically anxious. Chronically sad.
​
It's not surprising that with so much external and internal conflict, people call for a truce: "I just want peace!". "Just" shows how we have given up on being happy. We don't even know exactly what that is, but we know perfectly well how elusive it is. How much we try to achieve it and fail.
Then some pseudo-enlightened being shows up promising peace as if it were the nectar of life. It's like promising water to a pilgrim in the desert. It's not God, but it's water and I just want water now! I no longer remember why I started my journey. I just want it to finish so I can rest in the shade of a palm tree with some very refreshing coconut water. Of course, after the coconut water has served its purpose, all that is left is the emptiness of those who went out looking for God but settled for water.
Peace is just water. It is essential to cross the desert. But the promised land is, has always been and will continue to be that of happiness. Bliss means much more thanpeace. It's living in a permanent state of love with life, regardless of the challenges we face. Whether or not we have water. Because bliss is falling in love with crossing the desert and enjoying it fully. Enjoying desert's unique starry sky. As well as the challenge, for this sky can only be seen in the freezing desert night.​
H
A
P
P
Y
happiness mandala
Mandala means circle or sacred center in Sanskrit. Mandalas are symbols of the universe, that life never ends and of the interconnectedness of everything.
​
The journey to happiness is a cyclical internal journey, without beginning or end.
​
This coaching model is a compass and a baton to maintain this iteration.​
Holistic
Who? Why?
"Nature does not compartmentalise. Its instinct is integrative and holistic.'"
​
Ram Nath Kovind
​
​
In essence, being happy means being aligned with your true nature and purpose. Who you are impacts all areas of your life. Whatever the struggle is, it is nothing but a mirror of something not aligned. Therefore, the model is not limited to a topic, such as relationships or leadership.
​
​
​
​
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."
​
E.E. Cummings
​
​​​​
If you wish “to be” happy, the first step is “to be”. Not to become anyone else. This includes not to be who you think you should be, who you think you would like to be, who you think you are nor who you are trying to become. Just “to be”. Simple, but not easy. Thus, the first question is:
​
Feelings are a great hint. What you feel, where in your body and when you experience it. If you are experiencing enjoyment feelings such as joy, peace, gratitude, excitement, passion, you are likely doing something that is aligned with you.
You are what your deep, driving desire is. As your desire is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny.
​
Brihadaranyaka Upanishad
​
​
​
​
What fills you with passion and what you can´t tolerate reflects your values, the principles by which you pave your life and that guide you in tough decisions. They answer questions like:
​
​
- What do you want?
- How is this important to you?
- What makes you happy?
- What does it mean for you to be successful?
Your values are a how to walk guide. But where to go is a question of purpose, The big “Why?”. It is about deciding what to do with all that you are: your strengths and your qualities, your faults and shortcomings, your uniqueness.
​​
​​
- What is your role in this world?
- What impact do you wish to have?
- What is your life purpose?
- What would you like to have accomplished by the end of your life?
Awareness
What?
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
​
Marianne Williamson
A Return to Love: Reflection on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"​
​
​
What is blocking you?​
Like everything in the Universe, we are bound to the Law of Inertia - we don´t move unless a significant force impacts us. Let it be no doubt that all forces come down to one: love. All the remaining ones are but lack of love, which is aversion. However, for better understanding, we can look at it as desire and fear. By desire, we act towards achieving something. By fear, we act to avoid something.
​
Become your “Mind Watcher”. Observe, without attachment nor judgement, your true motivations, self-talk, the stories you play in your mind. Become aware of the inner truth you are living in your mind and how close it is, or not, to the reality.
​
You are invited to look at your fears and to question your underlying limiting beliefs about yourself and the world. Beliefs you take as universal truths but might not be so. More often than not, the biggest obstacles lie in these crystallised beliefs that might not serve you anymore. Becoming aware of both internal, as well as external obstacles in any challenge / topic.
​
​
​
​
- What is keeping you in this situation?
- What is blocking you from being yourself and doing what you want to do?
- What are the obstacles for creating the reality you want for yourself
Possibilities
What if?
"Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change."
​
Wayne Dyer
​
​
What if something else is possible? Take your new awareness and engineer your mind towards a perspective that is more factual, more actual and more useful to you. As a consequence, new options will open up for you. Where once you saw only obstacles, you now have choices. These choices might allow you to have new dreams, aspirations, a new vision of yourself and for yourself.
​
​
​
- What other perspectives are possible?
- What is coming up for you with this new awareness?
- What are you learning about yourself?
- What do you want to do with this new awareness and possibilities
Plan
What now?
"A goal wihtout a plan is just a wish."
​
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
​
​
Now it is time to set up a plan with concrete actions, measures, support structures and accountability.
​
- What is the next step?
- What resources do you need?
- How will you measure success?
- What support and support structures might you need?
- What can you do to remain accountable and focused on this plan?
Yes!
So what?
"There is no 'yes' and 'no'. There is just 'yes' and 'yes'! The choice is yours. You can either react to life with 'yes' and 'no', which will mean a perpetual division of this existence, which is the basis of repetitive cycles of conflict and misery. Or you can become one big YES to life."
​
Sadhguru
​
​
So what if you fail? If you don´t believe something is possible, you either don´t set yourself into doing it, or you fail. Show up in your life for yourself. Say a big “Yes, I can!”. So what if you are still not there? You are still a step closer! Remember, it is a mandala because that is life: a continuum process. How many times did you fall before you could walk? Yet, before you fell, how many times you actually gave one or two steps? Celebrate the little victories by saying a big “Yes, I am doing it!”. Persist!
​
We often chase success in the future. Success cannot be in the end; it has to be on the way. Fall in love with the process and the goals will disappear. You will find yourself exactly where you are supposed to be and happily enjoying the ride that it is to live.
​
Once at the final destination, celebrate your journey, your progress. Say: “Yes, I did it!”. After all this process, only two questions remain:
​
​
​
- How will you celebrate?
- What next?